2 YEARS SUGAR FREE
(A twist on “one year, no beer”)
This month marks 2 years no sugar for me
I’ve had numerous substitutes for beer since I gave it up in 1999 at 22 years old.
Sugar
, chips, crackers, along with all things binge-y and snack-y, filled the same alcohol & drug-shaped hole after I gave them up
The sugar game has been a much longer and more painful one to play, but I’m so grateful to say that it has been 2 years now that I have not indulged in any candy
, cake
, ice cream
, cookies
or any other confectionery.
I acknowledge myself
for my commitment, my willingness to surrender day by day – even through cravings and temptations – and to recommit as needed to the decision that just for today, for this hour, this moment, I will not eat sugar
.
I will not buy that bag of chips or cookies.
Those things are like beer
for this alcoholic. Once I start, I can’t stop
.
Most days, I live in a position of neutrality, safe and protected, from the desire to binge.
On rare days, suddenly I see the cafe dessert case from across the room, like it was a long-lost lover
I get captivated
by the bright promise of pleasure that is held in the creamy crown of carrot cake
, the cool pastel slice of lemon pie
, the brown buttery crumbs of apple turnover
, or the dark gaze of chocolate mousse
.
Sugar and bingeing gave me that same warm embrace I sought in a romantic partner
.
Nowadays, when I notice the urge to splurge, I see it as data – information about my internal landscape
.
Something is off within me if I want to use food to medicate my emotions
.
Today I don’t abandon myself, reject or ridicule, when I feel that old familiar craving come on, or that hollow emptiness that rises inside like thunderclouds building on the horizon
I just notice and be. I sit with myself. I acknowledge my awareness as an act of self love
The love I sought through sugar and substances, I give myself
.
This I have found to be the winning formula- praying
and staying in a space of willingness to surrender, moment by moment, any craving to numb.
Whether it be to use food
, sugar
, or smokes
, sex
, substances
, or shopping
– any and all of these can be void-fillers and vitality-killers
.
I’ll keep sharing about my progress on this path in hopes it helps you on yours
.
Wherever you are on your journey, I acknowledge you
.
If you’re in denial
or acceptance
– suffering and hopelessness
or moment-to-moment surrender – or total freedom and peace
, I invite you to meet yourself with compassion
And I will meet you there too
.
Because I’ve been there before, and I know, and understand
.
What is it for you? What is your crutch? And where are you on the journey?
There is no better use of my experience than to help others with what I have learned. I am here for you
PS – my foto is unedited, unairbrushed and unfiltered aside from basic lighting/color. No face or body smoothing or skinnying or youthify-ing effects have been applied.
This is the real me
