This month marks 3 years of living a sugar-free life, a journey filled with ups and downs, but one that has brought tons of growth and reward.
I've had numerous substitutes for alcohol and drugs since I gave them up in 1999 at 22 years old.
However, like so many, I found myself substituting those addictions with sugar and junk. It was my way of filling a void, seeking comfort, and numbing emotions😕
Sugar addiction was a part of my life for a very long time, but I'm so grateful to say that it has now been 3 years that I have not indulged in any candy, cake, ice cream, cookies or any sweet confections🍬
This path has taught me the power of commitment, willingness, and surrender. I've learned to navigate cravings and temptations, choosing to stay in the moment and not give in to that pint of ice cream or box of cookies.
Those treats are like beer for this alcoholic. Once I start, I can't stop❌
Most days, I live in a position of neutrality, safe and protected, from the desire to indulge.
But occasionally, I find myself gazing across a cafe at the dessert case, like it's a long-lost lover👩❤️💋👨
I get captivated by the bright promise of pleasure that is held in the creamy crown of carrot cake, the cool pastel wink of lemon pie, the brown buttery crumbs of apple turnover, or the dark gaze of chocolate mousse🍫
Sugar once provided the same warm embrace I sought in a romantic partner, and deeper still, it fulfilled my inner child seeking love and comfort.
Nowadays, when the urge to splurge arises, I see it as valuable data about my internal landscape🌄
Something is off within me if I want to use sugar to medicate my emotions🤔
Today I do my best not to abandon myself, reject or ridicule, when I feel that old familiar craving come on, or the hollow emptiness that rises within like thunderclouds building on the horizon⛈
Now, I practice mindful self-compassion as I sit with these feelings. The love I sought through sugar and substances, I practice giving to myself💞
This is my winning formula—praying, staying willing to surrender, being present, and choosing not to escape myself.
Food, sugar, or smokes, sex, substances, or shopping - any and all of these can be void-fillers and vitality-killers😓
While I have successfully remained sugar-free, I've had some challenges in other areas of my diet.
Now more than ever, I get to release remaining unhealthy habits as I've come up against some health issues that require it.
I recognize this is all here to help me. There's always more to explore, deeper layers to uncover, and emotions to witness. It all goes back to my inner child longing for acknowledgment and love👩👧
So, I continue to pray for willingness in these areas where there is still a place to surrender.
And, at the very least, I practice loving self-acceptance.
I share my journey's messiness because I believe that embracing our imperfections and learning to forgive ourselves is essential.
Perfectionism and black-and-white thinking can be common for those who've experienced dysfunction in their past.
It's time to release these patterns with forgiveness, compassion, and reparenting ourselves.
It starts with acknowledging that being human is messy, and it's actually something to embrace and celebrate while at the same time using our shortcomings to heal and evolve🌈
Wherever you are on your life's path, I acknowledge you🙏
Whether you're in denial or acceptance, struggling or surrendering, or enjoying total freedom and peace, I invite you to meet yourself with compassion💖
Know, too, that you are not alone; I've been there, and I understand.
There is no better use of my past than to help others with their future🤝
I invite you to share in the comments below:
What are your crutches?
Are they still working?
Or are you ready to surrender?
If so, reach out to schedule a coaching conversation with me, as your first step to freedom🎉
